Money in Marriage: How Your Finances Reflect What You Value
When Money Talks — What’s It Really Saying?
In this episode, Jim and Cade unpack one of the most emotionally charged topics in any relationship: money. But instead of talking about spreadsheets or budgets, they dive into something far more personal — how money communicates what you truly value.
Jim shares how his own financial stress years ago shaped his passion for helping families have better conversations around money. “Money is a means of communicating, storing, and transferring value across space and time,” he says. And when couples don’t recognize that, small misunderstandings can grow into big divides.
Your Money Is Always Communicating
Every dollar you spend tells a story — not just about what you can afford, but about what’s important to you.
Cade puts it simply: “Your calendar and your checkbook always tell the truth about what you actually value.”
Jim gives an example of a couple who came to him for financial advice as a last attempt to save their marriage. Their turning point came during a trip to Disney World — a moment that revealed not how different they were, but how similarly they cared. One spouse spent freely to “make memories now,” while the other worried about the future. They wanted the same thing: meaningful family time. They were just communicating it differently.
That realization changed everything for them.
What the Numbers Say
The statistics back it up:
Money fights are the #1 cause of divorce year after year.
Couples who regularly discuss finances are 20–25% less likely to divorce.
Financial infidelity (hidden debts or spending) plays a role in over 40% of divorces.
Stress from debt and money issues impact 60–70% of adults.
Money doesn’t just affect your wallet — it impacts your marriage, your health, and your peace of mind.
The Real Issue Isn’t the Budget — It’s Communication
When couples argue about money, it’s rarely about math. It’s about meaning.
Jim explains that financial conflict often stems from misaligned communication — one partner saves for later while the other spends for now. Without understanding the why behind each choice, both sides feel unseen.
Cade adds that many people assume their spouse doesn’t care or is careless, when in reality, they’re just trying to express love or security differently. That’s why having regular, honest, and empathetic conversations about money is one of the healthiest things a couple can do.
Choose Intentionality Over Comparison
Social media has made the comparison game impossible to escape. “We used to keep up with the Joneses down the street,” Jim says. “Now the Joneses are everyone online.”
He shares a funny real-life story: a neighbor once said he wished he could afford to go to Italy — right before teasing Jim about driving an old car. The irony? That neighbor’s luxury car cost more than five Italy trips combined.
The lesson: You can have anything, but you can’t have everything.
Spend intentionally, not impulsively.
The Takeaway
Talk about money — a lot.
Listen with empathy, not defensiveness.
Align your values, goals, and actions.
Let your time and spending reflect what truly matters.
As Cade puts it, “Make sure your calendar and your checkbook tell the same story your mouth does.”
Money can divide couples — or it can draw them closer. The difference comes down to communication, awareness, and intentional living.
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🔗 Connect with Intentional Living FP
At Intentional Living Financial Planning, we believe money is more than math — it’s a reflection of what you value most.
If you want to have healthier conversations about your finances, build a plan that aligns with your values, and reduce financial stress in your marriage, visit intentionallivingfp.com to connect with Jim and Cade.
The How and Why of Goals
Episode 5 of the Intentional Living Podcast with Jim Crider & Cade Grimm
What’s This Episode About?
Jim Crider and Cade Grimm dive deep into what goals are really for — and why so many people set them the wrong way. From New Year’s resolutions that fade by February to goal lists disconnected from real purpose, this episode explores how to build goals that actually create momentum and meaning.
Understanding the Real Role of Goals
Q: Why do most people fail at goal-setting?
A: Because they start at the wrong place. Jim explains that goals should flow from values — the deeper motives behind what matters most. Without this anchor, people chase arbitrary goals that look impressive but don’t bring fulfillment.
Example: Jim once had a goal to own a private airplane, but what he truly valued was ease of travel. Once he recognized that, the entire goal shifted.
The Framework: Values → Goals → Decisions → Actions
Q: What’s the right order for lasting change?
- Values — Identify what’s truly important.
- Goals — Translate those values into tangible objectives.
- Decisions — Weigh trade-offs and opportunity costs.
- Actions — Take consistent, aligned steps forward.
Most people skip the first two and live in “reaction mode,” bouncing between quick decisions and short-term action without direction.
Are Goals Enough?
Q: If I just write down my goals, will that work?
A: Not by itself. The purpose of a goal isn’t to chain you to a single outcome — it’s to clarify your next best step.
“What’s the one thing I can do such that by doing it, everything else becomes easier or unnecessary?” — The One Thing by Gary Keller & Jay Papasan
SMART Goals Still Matter
Jim and Cade revisit the classic SMART goal formula — Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. Writing goals down increases your odds of success by 42%, and sharing them with someone boosts it to 64%.
But beware: publicly announcing goals can actually hurt your follow-through. Research from Peter Gollwitzer shows that sharing goals too soon gives your brain a premature dopamine hit — a sense of accomplishment before you’ve done the work.
Accountability That Actually Works
Q: Should I share my goals on social media?
A: Probably not. Public praise gives a short-term dopamine rush that replaces the satisfaction of progress. Instead, share with an accountability partner who asks:
- “How many miles did you run this week?”
- “What actions did you take toward your goal?”
That’s accountability — not applause.
Small Wins Build Big Momentum
Jim points to the “Couch to 5K” method as a model: start with micro-actions like putting on your shoes. Those tiny, consistent wins create momentum and confidence. Cade compares it to the debt snowball method — early victories keep motivation alive.
Bringing It Home: Goals That Reflect Your Life
Jim and his wife Kendra practice this every year through a “goal box.” They list what they’re thankful for, set new goals, and revisit last year’s progress together — keeping everything rooted in faith, family, and growth.
Cade and his wife use a shared note on their phones, checking in on family and personal goals together. Both remind us that gratitude keeps you grounded and reflection keeps you from drifting into autopilot.
Takeaways from This Episode
- Start with why. Every meaningful goal begins with clear values.
- Anchor goals in your season. Let them inform your next step, not your forever plan.
- Write them down. Written goals increase focus and accountability.
- Share selectively. Tell people who will truly hold you to it.
- Celebrate small wins. Progress compounds through consistency.
Favorite Moment
“The purpose of a goal is to inform the best next step — not to chain you to a future outcome.” — Jim Crider
Listen & Subscribe
🎧 Listen to The Intentional Living Podcast
Follow Jim & Cade as they unpack faith, finance, and intentional living each week.
Episode Info
- Hosts: Jim Crider & Cade Grimm
- Series: The Intentional Living Podcast
- Episode: 5 — The How and Why of Goals
- Publisher: Intentional Living FP
- Published: October 28, 2025
